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Hi. I'm Trish Kubel, life coach and mom to three. In this podcast, I'll address one of the And welcome to episode one of more than a busy mom podcast. I'm Trish life coach to busy moms. And I am so excited that you're here today. This is a pinch me moment. To be honest, I have been thinking about producing a podcast for some time now. And I remember in the beginning it was just an idea an idea that literally like has sat on a sticky note on my desk and You know, I was in the belief or had the belief for Many months that that never was going to Come to life. The idea was not going to come to life. And yet here I am sitting in front of a microphone, a very fancy microphone in front of a recording program recording this podcast. So just a quick reminder, if there's something you want to do or you have an idea, please just go do it. You are so capable of doing the thing.
So please just go do the thing. Okay.
A couple of things before we get into date into today's topic. I have a cup of coffee in front of me. I'll probably take a sip of it. I have papers. I, you're going to hear some shuffling of papers. You're probably going to hear me hit the microphone because I talk with my hands.
So glad that no, there's like not a video on right now. And yeah, I have my phone where I have a couple notes down. So you might hear a pen click because I tend to click pens. And picket pens. So just know like this is not going to be a perfect podcast It's real and raw. It's just me talking a busy mom talking to other busy moms And um, let's just make this easy. Okay, super simple so Wherever you are right now, whether you're walking or doing the dishes or folding laundry Or you're sitting in a parked car at soccer practice Wherever you are thank you for being here because today's topic is around the idea of busy and what I want to do is really flush out what this word means, not only for myself, but for you, I really want you to come to this understanding of why you use this word, what, what the word busy means to you and why we use it when we talk to people. I really want you to get a really deep understanding of the word busy.
So, how I want to start this is to tell you kind of my story of where this idea of busyness came from, and then kind of go into like, why do moms take on this like busy label? Like where is that even coming from? And then I want to give you some actionable steps today on how we can start tackling the busyness. If you don't know me personally, I went right from college where I got my education degree right into a master's program. I was super busy, completed a master's program in a year, and then went right into teaching full time as a general educator. And as Teachers, no, I have a lot of teacher friends who listen, teachers are busy, like that is just the profession and I have spent so many years. Being busy in that profession and before kids, being busy just wasn't a problem. I had my husband, I had my dog, I had my townhome, and I just was a busy teacher going in early.
Just teaching like a madwoman all day long, working through lunch, working through planning, making phone calls, connecting with families, doing all the things, going to students like plays and soccer games, and then coming home and working on lesson plans and grading papers and then lesson planning over the weekend, spending my whole Sunday working on teacher things.
Like that was my life. And so you can just imagine when I decided to grow my family with my husband and we had our first baby and I wanted to still do all the teacher things and Raise my baby. Yeah, it didn't go so well. That is where I started to feel very busy and very overwhelmed. I remember people would ask me, how are you doing?
And I remember saying, I'm just so busy. I'm so busy and I'm so tired. And then I felt like at that moment, I just took on that label. I'm like, I guess I'm going to be busy for the rest of my life with these children, with this child. Um, I'm a full time working mom. I'm, I guess I'm just going to be busy. That's what we're supposed to do. And then baby number two comes, and then baby number three comes right after baby number two. And I now was super busy. Super busy to the point where I honestly forgot about myself. I kind of lost myself. Um. I wasn't doing anything for myself anymore. I didn't really even think about myself.
All of my thoughts were to my children and my job. I can honestly say like my thoughts even weren't even for my husband. And he knows that cause we've had lots of conversations about that. So that's not new news to him, but yeah, it was. Raising children and my job. And I went about that for several years until I remember the point and I remember this so vividly that I was at the beach with my family and if I could show you the picture I would.
Because I have a picture. My husband took a picture of me. And I remember sitting on the beach and just thinking like, I'm just miserable. I'm literally miserable. You can see on my face in this picture how miserable I was. Miserable. And that kind of brings tears to my eyes and, and as I share my story, I could 100, I am 100 percent sure that you have a similar story where you are feeling so busy trying to do all the things that you're forgetting about yourself. And so that's why I wanted to create this podcast. I want you to recreate yourself after having children, after taking on this motherhood role. I want you to reconnect with yourself, to honor your desires and pursue whatever you want to because that is important. That is essential. As a human being, you are so much more than busy. You are so much more than a busy mom. You are an absolute amazing mom, but you're also more than a mom. And that's what we're going to dig into now. Okay. So let's get into this. Why do moms. Why do we feel so busy? Why do we find ourself in this whirlwind of busyness?
Number one, let's see how many of these reasons out of the three you connect to. Number one, we put unrealistic expectations on our self. Society loves to throw everything our way as moms. So what I want you to think about is what is influencing you? Who is influencing you to continue to be busy, right? Society glorifies busyness. Moms can do it all. Moms are always in constant mission. Moms always figure everything out. So what I want you to do is I want you to redefine success in your own terms. Being busy does not equal success. I'm going to say that again, being busy does not equal success. I wish someone said that to me 10 years ago, and maybe I would have, I would be in a whole different place than I am today. So busyness does not equal success. Okay.
Number two, busy moms. Take on busyness and the whirlwind of busyness Because they lack boundaries. So what a boundary is is Something for you to protect you and it doesn't and it's not against somebody else Right a boundary is for you and that this will be a whole nother podcast. So tune into that about boundaries So what happens? Is our boundaries become a little bit blurry where we put these boundaries up on what we believe or what we maybe prioritize and then they get a little bit like blurry. Meaning, we're saying yes to a lot of things when we actually want to say no. So then what happens, all those yeses, then just build the busyness. So I want you to ask yourself, like, how many times am I saying yes when I really want to stick to my boundary and say no. I want you to think about that this week. And the third reason of why we tend to be busy. Is because the, these feelings of like guilt and comparison, we see other people maybe living in to, or leaning into their families or providing for their families or doing all their things for their families. And. We see it, and then we just mirror it, and if we don't do it, then we fall into the guilt trap and the comparison trap, so we're feeling negative, and then we take actions that also feel negative because they're not in alignment with what we believe or what we've prioritized, and it's just a vicious cycle. So I want you to really think about those unrealistic expectations that you put on yourself that create you to be busy, the lack of boundaries creating the busyness in your life, and then the feelings of guilt and comparison creating the busyness in your life. So this is what I want you to ask yourself now.
Now that you've heard my busy story, my busy story, my story about being busy. You've heard some reasons of why moms are busy. What I want you to do is ask yourself these two questions.
Number one, where is my busyness coming from? Like what is busy in my life? I just kind of want you to map it out. Pull out a journal, pull out a sticky note. I don't care. Pull out something, a receipt, and just start writing down like what is truly busy in your life. See it on paper, take it out of your brain because that's where you store it all, take it out and see it on words in front of you. And then I want you to ask yourself, what am I willing to do about this? What is the busyness that brain is creating or what, what's the busyness going on around me? And if I don't want it to be this way, if I don't want to feel this way, what am I willing to do about it? And I know you might be thinking, but Trish, I don't know what to do about it. It's the same question I had before I got a coach. I literally remember taking a problem to my coach and saying, what do I do about this? And she said, well, what do you want to do about this? And I was like, no, I just want you to give me the answer. And she went, well, I can't give you the answer because I'm not you. Only you know the answer. And it was like a light bulb in my brain. Like. Oh, like I haven't even been honoring my brain and what my brain is capable of, like coming up with. So I want you to just say for a second to yourself that you're going to figure this out. All this business and messiness that you're going through, you're going to figure it out because Your brain is capable of figuring it out.
So this is what I want you to try Here's it like a couple things to get you started number one I want you to kind of create this personal vision of what you would desire Life to look like if you don't desire it to be busy or busy feels overwhelming What do you want it to look like? Map it out on paper, use pictures or words or sentences or write a story, however your brain likes to do it.
Have a clear vision. We need to have a vision of what we want so that we know kind of how to make a plan to walk towards it. I would also highly suggest that you find a support system. Talk to someone about this, about feeling busy and overwhelmed. Find a safe person. Whether it is a friend, or a partner, or a colleague, or a coach, or a therapist, or a counselor, find someone that you can connect with and share these thoughts.
It really makes a difference. And I talk from experience, I have made so much growth in my life by sharing my thoughts with other people, with safe people, truly has made a difference.
So as I close the podcast today, just as a quick review, we talked about. Three reasons of why moms kind of feel that busyness and that overwhelm.
I provided you questions to ask yourself and provided you two action steps to help you take that next step forward. And if you want more, if you're like, Trish, this is a good start, but I want more reach out, connect with me on social media, on Instagram, on Facebook, on Tik TOK, find me on a social media platform and send me a DM, send me an email, go to my website.
I am accessible. But only you are the one to take that step. You are the one to reach out and say, okay, now what I'd love to connect with you. I'd love to support you and help you really work through this busyness. I had support to work through the busyness and let me tell you, it works. I still have a sense of busy in my brain. However, it is not the type of busy that is overwhelming. I am very satisfied with the busy during this season of my life, and if I become overwhelmed, with the busyness. I know what to do about it. I know how to watch out for it and I know what to do. And those are two very powerful things to have awareness and action.
And if you want to learn how to do that too, please reach out. I can help you. So as you carry on with your day, I just want to leave you with a reminder that you are so much more than busy. And I want you to really embrace the fullness of who you are as a woman and as a human. It is so possible to create and cultivate this life that reflects you.
So I give you permission to put that busyness hat down, to take a breath, to give yourself a hug, and to pick up that hat when you need it again. But please, please take the time to put it aside and take care of you. Until next time.
Thank you for joining me on today's episode. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to click that follow button and then share it with a friend, your sister, a neighbor, a random mom in Target, literally any busy mom. Your support means the world to me. Until next time, keep leaning into the idea that you are There's so much more than a busy mom and have the most amazing week. And one more thing, if you're interested in joining my 12 week one on one coaching program called the Mindful Mama Method, where we dig into all things around time, self care and relationships, visit the show notes for more details.
And one more thing. This podcast provides information for entertainment purposes only and should not be considered as substitutes.
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